Oh-oh Here She Comes...She's a Job Hunter

I'm job hunting. It's such a tedious process. First you actually have to look to see who is hiring; then you have to put on paper why you're the best person ever in the world to hire; followed by having to decide if red is really an intimidating color to wear on an interview and "oh crap" I don't own anything navy which experts say is a soothing color and the best to wear which means I'll come across as a very non soothing individual whose red blouse screams "I am intimidating and unapproachable and will slash your tires if you don't give me a job immediately followed by a raise!!" which isn't true because I am the least intimidating person I know - all you gotta do is have one thing in common with me and laugh at one of my jokes and I'll love you forever - and I wear red because it goes fantastic with my skin tone opposed to navy which does nothing for me. Whew. See. It is very tedious and very stressful. And maybe I should stay in retail forever.

But I can't. It's time to find something new, to do something else. It has been time for a while. There's a reason a comfort zone is comforting. Unfortunately comfort doesn't always equal happiness or being fulfilled. This has been quite the lesson for me.

My resume is all set. It's quite good I should say. The hard part is just getting in the door and then, once in, being impressive. Interviews are like a first date but without the free dinner or the potential for make-out time (of course, that depends on what kind of job you're interviewing for).

When I was the manager at AE I had to review numerous applications and conduct the interviews. I loved it. One applicant put down his reason for quiting his last job after two months as 'road trip'. My favorite applicant was the guy who wanted to apply for assistant manager. Under 'Position Desired' he wrote 'Ass. Man.'. Although very tempting, I didn't hire him. My friend, Amy Jo, interviewed this poor guy whose mother insisted on sitting in on it. She ended up answering all of the questions with her son just sitting there nodding his head.

Don't worry. I'm not going to bring my mom to any interviews I may get. But if I have to use the kids to get a sympathy hire - I'm not above that. We've practiced the pathetic "please sir/ma'am, hire my mommy so we can eat" look. But, that's only if I get desperate.

Of course, with looking for something new comes all the insecurities. When I first worked at the law firm with ex-manfriend the fax machine was the scariest thing in the world; and how the hell do you figure out which direction to place the paper to be faxed? And why do I keep answering the fax line? And when will I stop printing the addresses on the envelopes upside down? And did ex-manfriend say he was taking calls or not taking calls? I figured it out eventually. But not before I began to wonder if my skill set was limited to catering to high-maintenance women and whiny tweens.

I wish I could be honest about that during an interview:
"True. I have no experience with this. But, I will show up everyday and work my ass off for you and if you give me a little bit of time I'll be the best decision you've made."

Honesty like that doesn't get you hired. That said, I was more likely to hire the kid who said "I just really need the money" when I asked why they wanted to work at AE. They showed up more than the kid who said BS like, "well, I've always liked the style of AE and think it's a great company blah blah blah...".

So, wish me luck. Insecurities and navy pant suits be damned.