Oh-oh Here She Comes...She's a Job Hunter

I'm job hunting. It's such a tedious process. First you actually have to look to see who is hiring; then you have to put on paper why you're the best person ever in the world to hire; followed by having to decide if red is really an intimidating color to wear on an interview and "oh crap" I don't own anything navy which experts say is a soothing color and the best to wear which means I'll come across as a very non soothing individual whose red blouse screams "I am intimidating and unapproachable and will slash your tires if you don't give me a job immediately followed by a raise!!" which isn't true because I am the least intimidating person I know - all you gotta do is have one thing in common with me and laugh at one of my jokes and I'll love you forever - and I wear red because it goes fantastic with my skin tone opposed to navy which does nothing for me. Whew. See. It is very tedious and very stressful. And maybe I should stay in retail forever.

But I can't. It's time to find something new, to do something else. It has been time for a while. There's a reason a comfort zone is comforting. Unfortunately comfort doesn't always equal happiness or being fulfilled. This has been quite the lesson for me.

My resume is all set. It's quite good I should say. The hard part is just getting in the door and then, once in, being impressive. Interviews are like a first date but without the free dinner or the potential for make-out time (of course, that depends on what kind of job you're interviewing for).

When I was the manager at AE I had to review numerous applications and conduct the interviews. I loved it. One applicant put down his reason for quiting his last job after two months as 'road trip'. My favorite applicant was the guy who wanted to apply for assistant manager. Under 'Position Desired' he wrote 'Ass. Man.'. Although very tempting, I didn't hire him. My friend, Amy Jo, interviewed this poor guy whose mother insisted on sitting in on it. She ended up answering all of the questions with her son just sitting there nodding his head.

Don't worry. I'm not going to bring my mom to any interviews I may get. But if I have to use the kids to get a sympathy hire - I'm not above that. We've practiced the pathetic "please sir/ma'am, hire my mommy so we can eat" look. But, that's only if I get desperate.

Of course, with looking for something new comes all the insecurities. When I first worked at the law firm with ex-manfriend the fax machine was the scariest thing in the world; and how the hell do you figure out which direction to place the paper to be faxed? And why do I keep answering the fax line? And when will I stop printing the addresses on the envelopes upside down? And did ex-manfriend say he was taking calls or not taking calls? I figured it out eventually. But not before I began to wonder if my skill set was limited to catering to high-maintenance women and whiny tweens.

I wish I could be honest about that during an interview:
"True. I have no experience with this. But, I will show up everyday and work my ass off for you and if you give me a little bit of time I'll be the best decision you've made."

Honesty like that doesn't get you hired. That said, I was more likely to hire the kid who said "I just really need the money" when I asked why they wanted to work at AE. They showed up more than the kid who said BS like, "well, I've always liked the style of AE and think it's a great company blah blah blah...".

So, wish me luck. Insecurities and navy pant suits be damned.

586,901 Easy Steps To a Better You!!

There are certain times of the year when I decide I need to better myself. Immediately after, I realize that will take work and I'm probably as good as it's going to get - so I just abandon the whole thought. But, now that I've graduated from big girl school I feel the need to get off my bloomin arse and do something - to be something.

So I did a little research. Research, of course, meaning I googled some things while watching a House marathon. It's amazing what pops up when you type in steps to a better you. For one thing, when you click on 'images', most of them are of people looking at the ocean at sunrise or people on top of the mountain with their hands up in the air. I didn't realize a body of water could do so much. I wonder if Lake Maumelle counts? Do I have to go at sunrise? Because that is really early - like before 9:00am. And if I climb Pinnacle, do I have to put my hands in the air for a better life? Because I'll probably be a little winded.

As far as the lists goes the norm is seven steps. Only seven things to accomplish to better your life! How easy is that? We should all have the best lives ever. There was one site that gives just five steps on how to stop talking in a monotone voice. And then there are the over achievers who give ten to thirty steps to a better you. I figured those must be for those who have really hit rock bottom. Not for me. I'm a seven stepper for sure. Although now I wish I spoke in a monotone voice so I would only have five steps to a better life. Damn my colorful voice inflections!

Then there are the magazine steps to follow. Cosmopolitan has a riveting 'how to' be a tiger in bed and make him purr with pleasure- in just seven easy steps! Although, I think just showing up usually does the trick. But that wasn't one of steps, so I could be wrong. Glamour has 101 ways to have better sex. Again, I think just showing up gets the job done. Thinking about 101 ways to do anything just makes me want to take a nap. That said, thank God for women's magazines. Without them how would women ever feel empowered and as more than sex objects?

The funny thing is, in all these 'how tos' (and by all I mean the four I "researched") none of them listed get moving or get off the couch as the first step. Shouldn't that be the most important one? After all isn't that the biggest problem most of us have - getting started? Most of us are not dumb. We know what needs to be done. We know how to manage money, how to lose weight, how to take better care of ourselves; that's not the problem. The problem is we just don't want to get started. Most of us just sit on the side lines hoping, praying that if we want it bad enough then it will just happen. Then we have the audacity to wonder why life is so unfair when it nothing happens at all.

We'll watch silly movies like Eat Pray Love and think "if only I could get to Italy or Bahli, things will get so much better." The fact is - if you can't make it work in Arkansas or where ever you are now - you won't make it work in a foreign country. Because there are plenty of places to get fat where you are. And the beauty of God is you can pray where ever you are and it's good enough. And love? Well, love is easy. Stop getting caught up on the romance of it and recognize that more than likely you're surrounded by it. The romance will come eventually.

Although the scenery in Italy is probably a little nicer and I hear Italian men are amazing.
Hmm...maybe Gilbert is on to something.
If only it didn't take so much effort to get a passport.

So I have decided to take steps to a better me. My own. No Oprah, Oz, Cosmo steps. Angela steps.

To begin - I'm going to get moving. I'm going to write something everyday. Some I'll share on here, a lot I probably won't. But, I'm going to write because I love writing. And I think it's something I'm half way decent at doing. I won't worry about whether it's a master piece, or even if the reader will like it. I'm just going to do it - for me.

The rest I'll take as it comes. I'll get it done one at a time. No wishing it away, or ignoring the problem. Basically, cut down on the worrying. And then just start enjoying all I have. My kids, my family, my friends, my cable. You know - the important stuff. 

But, for you who love the list - here is the breakdown:
1. Get moving.
2. Take care of stuff.
3. Enjoy the good stuff.
4. Stop hanging on the mistakes; the hurt; and all the things that one guy/girl said to hurt you.
5. Get a day planner.
    5a. Write in the day planner.
    5b. Open the day planner after writing in above stated day planner and carry out whatever was written in day planner.
   5c. If too lazy to go get day planner, post it notes work well.
6. Stop complaining.
And when you get discouraged and stop all the steps...
7. Get a large pizza, watch a cheesy TV marathon, pass out on the couch, and then start the steps over in the morning.

As I said before, just showing up usually does the trick. I think it's about time I show up to my own life. I'd hate to miss it all just because I couldn't follow through on seven easy steps.